Hey Trish, sometimes social media can feel so removed from our genuine, lived experiences as humans. How can we be more human online?
Hi there, and welcome back to another week of Ask Trish!
It’s officially our last post of March (that went #fast!). Thank you all so much for your fantastic contributions this month; it’s truly been a joy to write up these posts and create videos. I can’t wait to keep the momentum going in April!
Speaking of fantastic questions–a huge thanks to this week’s question-er for the spot-on, relatable, and deeply profound question. This is a question that everyone from social scientists/researchers to policymakers to tech executives to activists like me to everyday people have been wondering for a long while, but especially in the last five years: how can we reclaim our humanity online? From my perspective as anti-cyberbullying activist, I’m always struck by how the abstract, ephemeral nature of our digital communications can make it so much easier to say and do things online that we would never do in person. It’s one thing to say something mean or derogatory to someone’s face–and to watch their face fall, and their lip quiver–and another thing to tweet it out on X. In many ways, then, one of the biggest barriers standing between us and a better internet is reminding digital citizens about our shared, lived experience as human beings–and the unquestionable moral worth of each of us as humans.
Of course, doing that is no easy task. (Trust me, I’ve had a decade of experience!) No doubt–as I’ve seen and witnessed firsthand–there are design changes, policy changes, and other changes we can invest in, at a systemic level, to make the internet more human, more rooted in our experiences, and more consistent with the values we live out in our day-to-day lives. But it’s also worth considering: what can each of us do to be more human, more real, and more connected online? In this week’s post, I briefly share some suggestions. You’ll notice that this is a briefer-than-usual post, and that’s because I’d really like to see all of you put these ideas into practice! Once you’ve finished reading, give them a try. Your digital practices might just inspire someone else to do the same.
With all of that said, here are my suggestions:
- Consider sharing longer-form, more in-depth content. Part of what makes the digital world feel so removed from the complexity of the human experience is that many digital platforms package human experiences in very brief, short bursts of content–like a 1-minute TikTok video. As a result, it’s quite hard to truly relate to the person on the other end of the screen, and even more difficult to feel like we can walk in their shoes/understand their perspective. That’s why I’ve always been a big fan of longer-form, more in-depth content. Whether it’s doing an Instagram Live–instead of just an Instagram Post–where you can talk more openly, in a less curated fashion, with all of the “ums” and “uhs,” or creating a fun YouTube vlog, or–best of all–writing up a Substack post, sharing longer-form content can help us truly peer into and understand each other lives in a way that strengthens connection. These forms of content also create more space for the messiness and nuances that characterize human life–in my experience, it’s much more common to see Substack posts and YouTube vlogs that dig into difficult, not-so-perfect experiences than it is to see Instagram posts that do the same.
- Don’t use filters. I know! Shocker! Here’s a fun fact about me: I’ve never, ever used a filter on any of my now 144 Ask Trish videos. When I tell fellow young people that I’m not really a filter gal, their jaws drop. “What?!” they say. “But what if you’re not having a great make-up day?!” My thinking is: well, in real life, if I’m not having a great day, I still have to show up–and I have to find ways to love and appreciate myself and my body for getting me where I need to go. And it turns out, I’m pretty awesome the way that I am without a filter. And here’s the truth: each and every one of you are too. Filters aren’t inherently bad, but they can create unrealistic expectations–for followers, and frankly, for ourselves. We come to internalize a specific view of ourselves as more “beautiful”…when that couldn’t be further from the truth. So, in April, consider going #filterfree. You might be surprised by how much more confident you feel at the end of the month.
- Be open to and curious about the perspectives that your fellow digital citizens have to share–don’t just talk, but listen. Too often, when we spend time online, we’re primarily concerned with one thing: ourselves. We’re at the center of our digital interactions–we’re talking, talking, talking, or, when we do listen, we’re listening just to come up with our witty reply. In other words, unlike our in-person communications, online, we don’t bring the same level of openness, curiosity, and a genuine desire to connect with others and understand where they’re coming from. That, of course, can make our digital experiences feel less human, less authentic, and less rich. So the next time you see a Facebook post or an Instagram reel, don’t immediately jump to thinking about the comment you’re going to leave on it–or start comparing the video’s likes with the likes on your most recent post. Instead, to the extent that the content is something you’re interested in and comfortable viewing, genuinely engage with what you’re seeing, the same we do in conversations in-person. Share your corner of the digital world with that person–and that little space will be that much more meaningful.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post. Once again, please give these actions a try! One step at a time–together–we can collectively revolutionize digital culture. And if you have a moment, I have just one other request: please go ahead and share any and all of your internet-related thoughts with me here. Remember, whatever is on your mind, I definitely want to hear from you. So go ahead: take 30 seconds and fill out the form. Thank you a ton in advance!
Have a great week,
Trish