Dr. Yann Poncin, child psychiatrist at Yale University Child Study Center, offered advice to parents hoping to help their teens develop healthy screen habits.
- Build trust over time. Get used to having conversations about other challenging topics besides screen use: mental health, difficult friendships, how to cope with loss, carrying out responsibilities even when we don’t want to, etc. This will establish trust and make it easier to talk about screen use.
- Avoid hovering. “I don’t believe you should monitor the content of your teen’s phone, because a teenager should have privacy,” Dr. Poncin says. “An important part of the teenage years is figuring out who you are in the world. So, it’s important for them to explore and even make mistakes without you hovering around them.” When you have established trust they are more likely to come to you when something happens.
- Approach by inviting conversation. If your teen’s habits are becoming concerning, such as staying up late on screens, try inviting their perspective. Dr. Poncin shared examples.
- Example 1: “It seems like you’re on the phone so much that I don’t see you just doing homework like you used to do, so I’m just worried how healthy this is for you in terms of getting your stuff done. What do you think about that?”
- Example 2: “I’ve noticed that you’re on your phone until 1 a.m. When I go to the bathroom, your light is on, and you’re on your phone. That’s not healthy. So, can we come up with a plan that you’re most comfortable with?”
- Example 1: “It seems like you’re on the phone so much that I don’t see you just doing homework like you used to do, so I’m just worried how healthy this is for you in terms of getting your stuff done. What do you think about that?”